Two little snippets caught my eyes and ears this week.
In the hysteria of climate change and the alledged heightened CO2 levels in the atmosphere, (with the resultant €€€billions yielded for the scammers), a sane voice came on the radio here.
Connor Faughtnon is the spokesperson for AA road watch, The AA is the 'automobile association, (for my American readers). Anyway, the scandal is about falling revenue from the annual car tax in Ireland. Apparently at a time of rocketing car sales, the taxman is receiving less money. This is serious because the car taxes we pay are keeping Irish Water going, believe it or not. Don't ask, that's just how we do things here.
By way of explanation then, the bold Connor told us that car tax is calculated on the resultant CO2 emissions from the car and as all of the motor manufacturers have been reducing these emissions for the last several years, the tax costs less. There is a smidgeon of truth in that I suppose. The programme presenter though was a bit slow on the uptake and asked for an example of this. That's when Connor dropped the bombshell.
According to the one man who's business it is to know, "If a family of four buy a mid-sized car and run up 15,000 miles in a single year, then the human occupants will emit more CO2 than the machine itself." Well, fuck me! You could have knocked me over with half a feather. We're paying a climate tax for the car when the real culprits are the polluters inside it.
I touched on the human respiratory pollutants in an earlier piece entitled, "Climate Conundrum." Of course, I would like you all to keep this amazing revelation to yourselves and don't breathe a word of it to another living soul. Loose lips sink ships and a casual anecdote in the pub some night could be overheard by a zealous taxman. The next thing you know we'd all be hit with a new tax bill for breathing, on the principle that the polluter pays.
And speaking of tongue-in-cheek taxes, it looks like us smokers have got everyone into trouble. You see, when the ban came in, a lot of business owners dabbled in the continental idea of tables and chairs outside. No proof anywhere exists to condemn smoking in the outdoors, whether you like it or not. Indeed, while I'm on the subject, the link to risk from indoor smoking is both tenuous and marginal. Some readers won't like to hear that either. But the smokers flocked outside with their coffees or pints and sat brazenly on the street watching life go by. On a hot sunny day here now, our city centers resemble anywhere in Spain.
So the taxman, spotting this trend worked through the local authorities to screw some more from us. The enterprising business owner was penalized for providing outdoor facilities for his patrons. "Along with a current €635 fee for footpath signage and a €100 charge for licensing, businesses face an annual payment of €125 for every table and four chairs," according to the Irish Examiner this morning. The article's heading though tells you all you need to know about future plans. It reads, "Businesses face ‘sun tax’ rule for outdoor seating." I'm not kidding, read it yourself.
Now, if you've ever read a tax form of any kind then you'll know that's where the term, 'small print,' comes from. They are detailed and written in semi-legalise. So I'm wondering about rebates if the sun doesn't shine. Do you pay a reduced rate if you have skin cancer perhaps? What about if you were seated under an awning or indeed, were covered head to toe in factor 50? The other issue is that when it is sunny, we all avail of it so what about the mother with her three kids in the park? Surely they'd be hit with the sun tax? And best of all, how will it be policed? But no! It will be the business owner who takes the hit first and then his prices will go up so that in the end, we pay for it. Just another stealth tax then?
We are subject to death taxes for having the temerity to die, sunlight will soon be subject to taxation and if word gets out about us breathing out CO2, we'll be taxed on life itself.
Any word yet about what time the bloody revolution kicks off lads?