The way the, 'AHEM', charities refer to tobacco smugglers you would think these criminal guys are dumb for spotting their chance to get rich on the Government's excise tax greed. The combined tax rate for tobacco in Ireland is 80%.

But the smugglers are far from dummies and who knows how many millions they make each year due to the ridiculous price of fags in the shops. One decent sized shipment could yield a couple of years of a doctor's salary for Mr. Big. Indeed a container load successfully shipped through Dublin or Dundalk might pay more than a lifetime spent as a medical consultant. Dumb my arse!

Coincidently today we have the case of the mannequins. Now a mannequin is a dummy used to display clothes in a shop window and this story today suggests to me that the criminals are taking the piss. Thousands of cigarettes were found concealed in mannequins, €222,500 worth to be precise. What cheeky bastards we have smuggling our favorite brands. Were the likely lads proposing to store the stash in plain sight?

But I'm imagining the transaction when the local low-life distributor comes to pick up his stock.

Disti:  I like that blue suit over there.

Shop Guy:  Yes, it's a well cut silk you know, (snigger, snigger).

Disti:  (titter, titter.) ……How much?

Shop Guy:  Ahem, €111,250 sir!

Disti:  Fine, I'll take it.

Shop Guy:  Do you want me to put it in a bag for you sir?

Disti:  Nah! I'll just take it as it is.

You just couldn't make these things up.