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Let's Express

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A TROUBLESOME KNACK

Let's ExpressPosted on November 14, 2018 by John MallonNovember 14, 2018

Steve Jobs came to Cork in 1979 and set up his first manufacturing plant outside of the US. From the initial 14 workers who began operations there in 1980, the plant has grown to employ over 6,000 people now. Jobs had picked a greenfield site at the time, bought the freehold and had the building designed to look out onto open countryside of hills and valleys. It was, and still is a lovely view.

A small industrial estate sprang up behind Apple and beyond that towards the city, they built a large estate of social housing known as Knocknaheeney. For as long as I can remember though, on visits to the plant you had to drive past an itinerant settlement on the roadside about a hundred yards from Apple’s front door. It seems these people can just park themselves anywhere they wish and because they have a reputation for violence, the Gardai won’t intervene. On one visit, a meeting I was at, (in 2003 I think), was interrupted and the General Manager was called outside. He was told that the itinerants had taken over the entrance to the Apple staff car park and they wanted €10,000 in cash to vacate.

One way or another, that dispute was dealt with but I do not know if that particular scam was ever repeated. But the encampment across the road remained for many years and was a bit of an eyesore for senior managers when entertaining important visitors from overseas. As the years passed, Apple applied for and got permission from Cork Corporation to change the road layout at the front of the plant. In short, Apple procured the existing stretch of road from one side of the building/s to the other and in return, a new semi-circular detour was created consisting of about a half a mile of new roadway.

Then the Corporation approached the itinerants and offered to build them permanent homes if they would abandon their illegal settlement. The new estate was developed by the city council in 2013 and 2014 beside the new roadway. At the time we were told that round-the-clock Garda security on the housing estate building site cost taxpayers at least €300,000. We were not told just how much it cost, (at the time), to provide these brand new homes for the traveling community but there is a description of what was provided for them. It included seven one-bed bungalows, three three-bed houses, three four-bed houses, and nine spacious bays for caravans. The bays are each equipped with a standalone welfare unit which includes a kitchen/dining area, a living area, a utility room, a bathroom, and generous storage space.The homes came with solar panels and stoves with back boilers to maximise energy efficiency, built-in wardrobes, fully-fitted kitchens, and flooring provided throughout.There are hundreds of people on the housing list in Cork who would give their right arm for far less than that.

But the real grumblings of public dissent didn’t begin until we heard that, “A new community centre was built on the site to house community initiatives such as a homework club, computer literacy courses, learner driver courses, and boxing, but it was vandalised within months of opening.” Now if you know anything about the itinerants then you know that nobody from the settled community would have dared to enter that place and vandalise anything. There can be only one set of suspects for that act of stupidity. For the last couple of years on my visits to my sister’s home, I have often used a route that takes me past Apple and the new itinerant estate. There is no easy way to say it but the place is a filthy litter-strewn mess and again, that’s not down to the settled community.

This morning the Examiner has more news about the site. In an article entitled, “Illegal dumpers in Cork to avoid prosecution,” we are told that, “Prosecutions are unlikely against those responsible for a new wave of illegal dumping activity around a €5m purpose-built Traveller housing estate close to Apple’s European headquarters in Cork.” So it cost €5m of taxpayers money to house 16 itinerant families, (not counting the €300,000 for the Gardai), and in return, they have been illegally dumping suites of furniture, kitchen chairs, several white goods, plastic toys and containers, tyres, carpets, and metal over their back walls. The security cameras installed nearby to overlook the estate have also been subject to repeated damage and vandalism, said officials, meaning there is no proof of who has done this dumping, hence no prosecutions.

Incredibly, back when the site was finished, the members of three families on the halting site refused to move into the new homes and a standoff over facilities for horses and possible disturbance money ensued. Talks took place over several weeks and agreement was finally reached which saw all Traveller families relocate to the new housing estate in June 2015. Yes! You read that right. Beautiful new bungalows were built free gratis for these people not 200 yards from the shacks and caravans they were living in and the cheeky fuckers wanted “disturbance money” to move in. We’ll never know if they got that disturbance money either but what we do know is that when they did finally move, they made a filthy dump out of what was a really nice new custom made estate.

Let me pause to say also that I have met and known a few really nice and good itinerants but carry-on like the above really does blacken all of their names. The itinerants have been given the status now of a recognized minority so you may not tell the truth about them under fear of imprisonment. Because of that, I can only present the facts as I’ve laid them out here.

You can make up your own mind how you feel about it yourself but for God’s sake, don’t verbalise those thoughts to anyone else.

Posted inLife | Leave a reply

UNCONSCIOUS CONSENT

Let's ExpressPosted on November 13, 2018 by John MallonNovember 13, 2018

“The majority of Irish college students believe that someone who has consumed as much as a bottle of vodka, 14 pints of beer or three bottles of wine still has the capacity to give consent to sex,” or so says the Indo. Well, either the paper is telling porkys or the standard of intelligence at Third Level is at an all time low. Lying journo’s or thick students, take your pick.

After three bottles of wine in one evening I would not be conscious, never mind in the mood for sex and I’m a seasoned drinker of the old school. And yet the NUI Galway study led by Dr Pádraig McNeela, titled ‘Are Consent Workshops Sustainable and Feasible in Third Level Institutions?’, includes surveys with more than 3,500 students at sexual consent workshops, devised by NUI Galway and held at four colleges nationally is prompting some serious calls for action. The report lists among its findings,

1) 70pc of female and 40pc of male students experienced sexual hostility or crude gender harassment during their college years;

Firstly, I know of none of the lads either in school or college who ever claimed that they experienced sexual hostility or crude gender harassment. Most would have been grateful for the attention in my day but it never happened. If 70% of the corresponding females have had such an experience then something basic has gone terribly wrong one way or another.

2) 25pc of women students experienced unwanted sexual contact or attempts at unwanted sexual contact through the use or threat of violence;

The use or threat of violence to obtain sex is called, in legal circles, rape or attempted rape. If a quarter of female college goers really have been raped or the attempt made on them then the campus’s should be flooded with Gardai bearing arrest warrants.

3) 71pc of female and 63pc of male students were dissatisfied with the sex education they received at school;

Ah, did your Mums and Pops do anything regarding such education of their precious offspring? It should not be up to the teachers to tell the little brats about sex especially when there is so little time to cover the rest of an overcrowded curriculum.

4) 67pc did not consider a female character in a story too drunk to give consent after she consumed 28 standard drinks – the equivalent of a bottle of vodka, 14 pints of beer or more than three bottles of wine.

How could you believe anyone, particularly a woman, with their lower alcohol tolerance, could give a coherent consent to anything when they are that pissed? The women couldn’t consent and the lads couldn’t get it up anyway, end of story.

There’s a problem though. If there is even a modicum of truth to these findings then we are looking at its symptoms and fallout, not the core problem. I suggest the core problem is a lack of lack of basic self-respect in student life today. You cannot offer respect to anyone else if you don’t first have respect for yourself. I have to think that if these misbehaving students really know deep down they are just useless little shits then the idea of right and wrong will mean nothing to them. In that situation, gratuitous sex for its own sake with the threat of violence included if they don’t get what they want would probably not present itself as a problem, much less a wrong.

The other aspect of it is all that drink. Alcohol was one of the Good Lord’s better ideas but the purpose of it is to enjoy and savour it. To throw three bottles of wine down the hatch at one sitting you would need to be drinking the stuff out of pint glasses. That is not what you do with wine. So maybe instead of sexual consent classes, as proposed, what these kids need is classes in self respect where alcohol could be served in portions that could be appreciated and enjoyed and they can learn a little about both.

Now there’s some joined up thinking so it will never happen.

Posted inLife | Leave a reply

CALLING ARCHITECTS OF INTERPLANETARY CRAFT

Let's ExpressPosted on November 13, 2018 by John MallonNovember 13, 2018

I take several little walks each day down by the river in the ‘Millennium Park’ beside Tivoli. Over our long hot summer the skies were a clear blue and always featured large four-engined jets heading from the US to Europe and vice versa. Even at forty or fifty-thousand feet you could still hear those jet engines on the ground and such flights are daily, 365.

Three of such aircraft were in the news this morning here. The incident happened last Friday both over and off the Kerry coast. There was a British Airways Boeing 787 flying from Montreal to Heathrow, a Virgin Airlines Boeing 747 from Orlando to Manchester and a third aircraft, a Norwegian Air 737 traveling from Stewart, New York, to Shannon. The BA pilot kicked off the conversation with Shannon by asking if there were military exercises taking place in the airspace through which her Boeing 787 was passing but there were no military exercises underway.

The dialog then went as follows:
“The pilot responded: “OK. It was moving so fast.”
The controller then asked: “Alongside you?”
The BA pilot described how the UFO came up along the left-hand side of the aircraft then rapidly veered to the North. She said it was a very bright light that “disappeared at very high speed.
She said they were “wondering” what it could be, that it did not seem to be on a collision course.” The pilot of a Virgin Airlines Boeing 747, call sign Virgin76, then joined the conversation and made reference to a meteor or another object re-entering the earth’s atmosphere and said there were “multiple objects following the same sort of trajectory”. He said they were very bright “where we were”. The other pilot of the 737 said the speed of the UFO was “astronomical, it was like Mach 2”, or twice the speed of sound.

The Irish Aviation Authority said that they were investigating the UFO incident but I suggest the horse has bolted. Years ago I heard a couple of comedians do a sketch that raised a smile. In a cockney accent one said, “An unidentified flying object landed in my garden last night”. A rich British voice then asked, “How do know it was an unidentified flying object?” The Cockney replied, ‘Cause it had UFO written on the side of it.’ Indeed!

Astrologers tell us that the number of planets in space runs to trillions and apparently by the use statistics, we have to also believe that there is a strong chance that many of them must be populated by ‘intelligent beings’. The story goes that some of these beings are very advanced and can build spaceships, (UFO’S), that appear to defy our laws of physics. Certainly there are hundreds of sightings around the world each year but skeptics dismiss them as nonsense. The more credible History Channel does periodically cast a skeptical eye over proceedings but even they have put up a web page listing the five of the most believable UFO sightings of the 21st century.

It was with that in mind and with tongue-in-cheek that my idle mind went spinning into the realms of speculation. I imagined that the Irish Aviation Authority issued a statement confirming these lights in the sky off Kerry were indeed UFO’s from another world. What would the likely Irish reaction to this be? For starters you could expect Shane Ross to ask the Gardai to investigate as to whether the pilots of those craft had alcohol taken, given their erratic driving style. The Irish branch of the #MeToo movement would want to know how these aliens treated their women. The Irish Cancer Society would demand a smoking ban on all UFO’s in Irish airspace because they would define them as workplaces. Alcohol Action Ireland would be sure to demand a price increase on all alcohol sold on UFO’s in our airspace and would further demand that no tax-free alcohol be available to any of them. Alien or not, they’d have to pay the full whack for their booze. Dr. Donal O’Shea would then put his oar in to suggest that obesity levels among young aliens has been shown to be shockingly high, pointing out that E.T. had a swollen stomach and had trouble even walking. The Government might announce a new Minister for Alien Affairs and a whole new Department to go with it. I could go on you know.

But the jury is out on the whole question of UFO’s and their occupants. Ryan Tubridy hasn’t had one of them on the Late Late Show for all of us to see and hear. None of them have been confirmed as captured by anyone human, (Roswell?), and the damned aliens haven’t attacked anyone or blown anything up. So it is down to circumstantial evidence or whether you believe in them or not. But there is another possible theory. Pilots in general and BA pilots in particular tend to be serious professionals who avoid even mentioning UFO incidences lest they appear unsound to their employers. So for any of their number to raise the issue on open radio with any ATC, they must have seen something unusual last Friday.

In 1964, Aer Lingus took delivery of its first jet, a Boeing 707, which at the time was the state of the art airliner. The 707 was about the pinnacle of air transport at that time. However, under a cloak of secrecy in 1964 the SR-71 Blackbird aircraft took its first flight too. It was and is the fastest aircraft in the skies but for years the US officially denied its existence. As a result, when commercial pilots saw something streaking across the skies in their vicinity going a walloping Mach 3, the first thought they had was other worldly. People at the time knew of nothing man made that could go that fast so it had to come from somewhere beyond. This simple mistaken identity actually suited the in-the-knows at the Pentagon because their secret weapon remained a secret.

But on December 17, 1903, Wilbur and Orville Wright made four brief flights at Kitty Hawk with their first powered aircraft. Sixty-one years after that we got the SR-71. So if something like an SR-71 Blackbird could be designed, tested and built all of 54 years ago, what do you imagine they have in the line of man made flying objects today that are highly secret and clandestine in operation. Those pilots off the Irish coast last Friday could have been buzzed by almost anything and in fact, when in doubt, blame the Russians. Why not? Apparently they are responsible for almost everything else and they are pretty handy around aircraft design too. Mind you, if you prefer, perhaps it was the little green men that mankind became obsessed with in the fifties and sixties. Some may ask though, why Ireland of all places. I can only suggest that these aliens are partial to the bit of craic so where else would they go? If they like a drop too sure we’re in clover, or should that be shamrock?

So you aliens off the Kerry coast last Friday, if you’re reading this, please drop by and give us a spin in yer wonder machine. If its the Yanks or the Russkies though, why don’t you fuck off and play with your toys somewhere else.

Posted inLife | 2 Replies

JOBS FOR THE GIRLS

Let's ExpressPosted on November 12, 2018 by John MallonNovember 12, 2018

Over the years I have worked on building sites during the summer holidays and one observation I would make is that these dirty places of work were 100% female free zones. In terms of the oily bits of a car, every mechanic I have ever dealt with was a bloke, no oil-stained overalls in a female shape. In a home of five females and yours truly, whenever the sewer pipes backed up, domestic demarcation dictated that I, and only I, got to use the smelly brushes and hose to unblock them. In that regard I’ve seen things that no man should see, (tee hee).

It used to be generally understood that women wouldn’t/didn’t do the horrible jobs but that must surely change now. You see, our Higher
Education Minister has vowed to create women-only professorships in a radical move to address persistent gender inequality at senior levels in universities and third level colleges. As things stand, any State posts that become available in Third Level Education can be applied for by both male and female applicants. So to tackle what she perceives as a bias against women, Mary Mitchell O’Connor will create a complete bias against men. “I want 40% of professors within our institutions to be female by 2024,” she said. May I ask why? If I were studying for a degree at present I would want the best lecturer available talking to me, regardless of age, sex or social standing.

It is understood that, initially, up to 10 posts will be funded, at professorial level, where salary scales start at between about €80,000 and €115,000, but that is just initially. Maybe over time there will be over 100 of these women-only posts coming on stream and no male, super-qualified or not, will be allowed to apply for any of them. Could you imagine the explosive backlash if that announcement had been the other way around? Adverts with “No Women Need Apply” scrawled over them would appear. I remember here in Cork a few years ago when a Polish Shop advertised for staff with the legend, “No Irish Need Apply.” They pasted that up on the shop window and within an hour, a rock took out the advert and the window. It took the owner to come on local radio the next morning to explain that candidates for the job needed to have fluent Polish before the bad feeling lifted slightly. If the ad had said that in the first place they wouldn’t have needed to fork out for a new window but then, they were fluent in Polish but not in English.

When I thought about it through, it seemed reasonable to assume that our third level colleges would simply carry on as usual and continue picking the best candidate for the jobs as they arose. But Mary Mitchell O’Connor obviously anticipated this and so has added the proviso that, “Gender equality will also become a key factor in general funding allocations to each college.” That is using public money to bribe/bully our colleges to hire women professors whether they are any good or not. It is an example of fascism not democracy. We are told that the minister’s announcement comes against a backdrop of growing international focus on gender gaps and equal pay in the work place, fueled by the #MeToo movement that emerged from women speaking out against sexism and harassment in Hollywood. Well, what else is it if a qualified man, possibly next in line for advancement is excluded from applying for advancement because he is sporting a penis? That is just blatant sexism and harassment.

And while I’m on the subject, why are all HR departments ninety per cent populated by females with a strong bias to employ more females all things being equal, (or maybe not)? I note also that women are still not flocking to the building sites or garages around the country despite the upsurge in the economy. On a similar note, there are many ads today that depict men as the inferior sex. I’m thinking of a particularly annoying one for car insurance. It begins with an authoritative female voice saying, “I think we should break up .” What can only be described as a pathetic needy male voice pleads, “But I’ve just had your name tattooed on my….” The authoritative female voice quickly interrupts sounding annoyed and exasperated, “With our car insurer.” Did you ever hear anybody refer to changing their car insurer as, “Breaking up with the old one?” What is this accepted narrative where the male of the species must be depicted as universally stupid? The ad was awkwardly designed in order to make the male role sound subservient, inferior and stupid.

They are planning for gender equality in the Dail too and that is just plain stupid to my mind. You are not entitled to a hundred grand a year just because you are a female and if you are, then I demand a hundred grand a year as well because I am a male, after all, that’s what it says in the constitution about equality for all of our people. It cannot work, can it? I strongly support the idea of gender equality and with two engineers for children I’d like to think my daughter can earn the same as my son. What I would not support would be a job advert that only allowed her to apply and excluded him for not being another daughter instead. That is just plain wrong in my opinion!

Posted inLife, Politics | 2 Replies

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