Some arrogant Fine-Gaeler stated last week that there is no alternative to vote for instead of his party in the forthcoming general election. I for one, intend to test that theory as soon as Enda calls the day. 

And speaking of Dame Enda, his whole party is in mortal fear he'll muck it up for all of them if he's allowed to talk to the press at such a sensitive time. There are several offensive odors around this government such as the ever-present HSE, the banking inquiry farce, a sacked Garda Commissioner who wasn't sacked etc. Any one of these could see an unprepared Kenny talking through his hole before a microphone. No amount of bluster can cover the man's ineptitude.

So rather than risk losing five more years on the bullying gravy train, the brains, (such as they are), behind the Mayo moron have a cunning new plan. They're going to muzzle Dame Enda and hid him until victory is declared for the blue shirts and any one else they'll need to get their hot little mitts back on the levers of power.

To justify his mysterious disappearance at such an unusual time his inner circle of advisers have told us plebs that no other European Leader has to suffer the tedium of press interviews like our beloved Dame Enda. They're calling it 'door-stopping' or the practice of roving microphones catching unsuspecting bluffers like Enda on the hop. One suspects he wanders around the corridors of Government pondering nothing but his own greatness. He most likely considers statues to himself being erected all over the country when he retires and just like the deluded Haughey, he sees a time when historians will look back and refer to him as a "Great Statesman."

Imagine then in such a grandiose state of mind he is suddenly confronted by a reporter asking him about trolleys in corridors. The baffled leader might look left and right down the polished mahogany corridors of Government buildings and wonder what the prole-reporter is on about. What he might actually say then, is what his handlers shit themselves about. Unless the schoolteacher inside Kenny has learned it all off by heart the night before, his true identity risks being exposed. Knowing none of us would like what we heard if that happened the safest course for the handlers is to hide the fool.

The smoker-hater Michael Martin will have a field day with that of course and the Shinners will taunt the 'elusive one' un-mercifully  from across the house. Don't be surprised if Kenny wears a fetching gag in the coming weeks to ensure he keeps his trap shut. Because a trap is what it is if you support Fine Gael. He's an accident waiting to happen in this high stakes game.

Fine Gael has consistently sided with big business and Brussels against their own people since their election. They have treated voters with arrogance and contempt enacting laws that profit their buddies and punish the ordinary man and woman. They took jobs-for-the-boys to a level not even Fianna Fail would not have dared to do and have spent five years in Government dreaming of schemes to steal our own money from us with the likes of USC, Water and Property Taxes. 

Now with Kenny still sitting on the top of that shit-heap, the handlers have the unenviable task of making it all smell like roses in time for re-election. The bribes and lies are in full flight already and the date hasn't even been called yet. Seasoned voters though will know that Kenny can run but he can't hide. Intrepid reporters will get the fucker when he least expects it. 

If I have one single prediction to make about the forthcoming election it is that Fine Gael's solicitors will slap an injunction on the media before the election day banning them from airing a Kenny interview. Watch this space!