Let's Express

STRAIGHT TALK

Chatting with a particularly witty friend of mine recently, she remarked that it would soon be “Gay Pride Day.”

The conversation that followed included reference to the multicolored flag of the LGBT community, the recent referendum and brief references to people we knew who had come out. All in all then, a fairly typical example of such an idle chat. But my companion’s devilish side could not be denied.

“Did you ever wonder if you might be gay?” she asked.”Nope!” I replied with conviction. “In fact I didn’t even know what gay was until I was nearly nineteen,” I added truthfully. “So, you’re definitely straight?” she continued. “Yup, how ’bout you?” I didn’t really need to ask because the same lady likes her men. But she took it further by asking, “When do we celebrate straight day? When do we get to celebrate our straightness with a march of our own on the streets?”

From that point the conversation took its inevitable humorous turn as we speculated out loud on all of the potential aspects of a ‘straight day.’ We settled on Black & White as our colours on the flags, with all that represents.

The big LGBT Pride march is representative of 4% of the population, according to the Irish Times so we laughed wildly as to how the streets of the Capitol would cope with 96% of the population out marching and waving their black and white flags in proud celebration of their own orientation. “Imagine,” she said, “All of the blokes would be dressed as blokes.” That was just the start of a hilarious ten minutes with one outdoing the other in the funny suggestions department. It was a harmless piece of wit and fun but I’ll leave it there lest I attract a raft of sensitive trolling snowflakes accusing me of misogyny.

When we ran out of ideas for ‘Straight Day,” there was brief lull before I asked when was “White Male Day,” and we were off again, even worse this time She’s great company that girl!

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