Let's Express

A thought on BREXIT.

I'm trying to imagine what it would be like if I were a politician.

There's the huge salary, the perks, the influence and the regular offers of bribes for doing very little for starters. Then there's the short working day, long holidays, expense accounts, money to hire your own family, funds for a second home and funds to build your own constituency office. It's amazing really when you think of it. The Irish Examiner estimated some years ago that it would be a very inept T.D. who couldn't make it a half-a-million a year job. Hell, you even get an allowance for just showing up.

Of course, in reality, you'd be unaccountable to anyone but the party. You could lie to your hearts content and the commoners  would know you were doing it and just nod sadly to themselves. You could get Councils to do your bidding as favours for your  friends and if that's not enough, a discreet word from you could change the planning for agricultural land into commercial use. And there's loads of room for advancement too. Ambitious dull politicians who can blindly toe the party line can look forward to a lifetime on the EU gravy train at the citizens expense. It's a wonder we're not all going for election.

But there is fly in the ointment. To get the job in the first place,  you do have to convince the disgusting commoners to vote for you. Apparently this is called democracy or some such outmoded nonsense. Worse again, having gone through the ignominy and humiliation of that, for some peculiar reason you must repeat the process every five years. These pesky elections are a huge barrier to settling back to a life of lazy leisure. Even though successive Governments have tried to think of a way around the election problem, none have yet come up with the right answer. Bertie Ahern of Fianna Fail tried to push electronic voting through. This would have been the answer to a prayer because electronic vote counting is so easy to control, as Jeb Bush showed in Florida to get his brother made President of the United States. The simple keystrokes of 'Find, Select and Delete', can get rid of votes that do not go your way thus ensuring re-election, without a paper trail. But that ruse didn't come off here because Jeb was found out and the commoners here heard about it.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel. The EU has managed, by sleight of hand naturally, to create the post of "Commissioner."  These people don't need to lower themselves to get elected because they are appointed. If you think that's good, they have all the power and make all the laws for 500 million people across the Continent. While the T's & C's in the Dail are good, a Commissioner's terms are of rock star proportions. It's a license to print money, literally. Believe it or not, when these folks sit down and make a law, that's it. There is no mechanism to overturn it EVER! If your neighbor's hedge pissed you off you could ban hedges all across the Continent. Now that's the kind of job I could quickly come to like. No elections, no shaking filthy common hands, no arguing your corner and no losing your job for making a big mistake. 

It's the ideal but sadly there are few of those Commissioner positions ever open to the average politician here. But you can clearly see the blueprint for the future of politics. It would be the perfect job if we could just do away with the dumb idea of democracy and replace it with, I don't know, maybe commoners just doing what they're told to do by us. Don't laugh because apparently some guy called Adolph had a system called "Fatism" or something and the commoners adored him for it I hear. Now, if we could just dismantle the silly practice of elections every five years in Ireland and bring some of that Fatism in instead, the life of a politician would be perfect. We'd be like Generals in an army, dishing out the orders, getting rid of bad eggs in the ranks and having everyone marching to our tune. The more I think of it the more I believe this democracy stuff has had its day. No decent like-minded politician is really in favour of it anymore and why would they be? 

It reminds me also that, "Politics is the art of the possible." Vote REMAIN for Fatism.

 


P.S.  My other thoughts on BREXIT are that if the UK opts to remain, they will never get another chance should they change their minds in the future. But if they leave and then think again about it, then can re-apply to join further down the line.
All the talk here is of how bad things will be for the UK outside the Union but given the panic at the highest levels in Europe right now I suspect the real issue is whether the EU will survive a British exit.
The other bullshit doing the rounds here is the prospect of the border between North & South being set up again. I remember when it was there in the sixties and what the Southern customs men were looking for was butter being smuggled south. In the seventies and eighties though, things were more serious. They were searching for guns and explosives. The IRA at the time blew up the border post so often that it was finally abandoned. Helicopters and watch towers took its place and driving from South to North the only way you knew you'd crossed a border was the good roads all of a sudden. So even if some token post were to be set up, I reckon it would make no difference because we've all moved on.
People forget that the UK & Ireland always had a special arrangement whereby visitors to either country did not require a passport to gain entry. When security required it, you did have to carry some form of I.D. but an Irish driving license got me into Wales one time. 
And then as regards trade, well that was what the E.E.C. was all about. I see no reason why trading rules should change with a British exit because it is in nobody's interests for them to do so. Germany would lose out big time if the British stopped buying their goods.

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